In the Torah , the word used for sex between husband and wife comes from the root Yod-Dalet-Ayin, meaning "to know," which vividly illustrates that proper Jewish sexuality involves both the heart and mind, not merely the body. Nevertheless, Judaism generally frowns upon female masturbation as "impure thoughts. The laws of niddah are not deliberately kept secret; they are simply unknown because most non-Orthodox Jews do not continue their religious education beyond bar mitzvah , and these laws address subjects that are not really suitable for discussion with children under the age of
Sex is not thought of as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation. Weddings must be scheduled carefully, so that the woman is not in a state of niddah on her wedding night. A couple may not have sexual relations while drunk or quarreling.
The rabbis noted that a two-week period of abstention every month forces a couple to build a non-sexual bond as well as a sexual one. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. In principle, birth control is permitted, so long as the couple is committed to eventually fulfilling the mitzvah to be fruitful and multiply which, at a minimum, consists of having two children, one of each gender. Where the mother's life is in jeopardy because of the unborn child, abortion is mandatory. It is an act of immense significance, which requires commitment and responsibility.